\nMy marriage was perfect until the day I came home from a business trip to find our backyard transformed into a venue for a funeral. My funeral. My husband Jake was standing in front, greeting guests dressed in black. What was going on?\n
\n
They say love makes people do crazy things. But hosting your living wife\u2019s funeral? That\u2019s a whole new level of insanity.\n
Jake and I have been married for six years. We met through my college friend Rachel at a dinner party, and I still remember how he made everyone laugh with his terrible dad jokes.\n
That night, I told Rachel he was different from anyone I\u2019d ever met.\n
Six months later, he proposed in our favorite coffee shop, and I knew I\u2019d made the best decision of my life by saying yes.\n
We started trying for a baby right after the wedding.\n
However, things didn\u2019t go as planned. I\u2019d get a negative test every month and we couldn\u2019t understand what was wrong. After two years of trying, we decided to visit fertility specialists.\n
At that point, we were really hopeful. We thought this would work and we\u2019d get the positive test results we\u2019d been waiting for.\n
But I guess fate wasn\u2019t on our side. It was so heartbreaking to see how none of the treatments were working for us.\n
Meanwhile, the constant questions from well-meaning relatives crushed my soul.\n
\u201cHave you tried those fertility herbs I told you about?\u201d my aunt Susan would ask at every family gathering. \u201cMy neighbor\u2019s daughter swears by them!\u201d\n
Last Thanksgiving, my cousin announced her pregnancy, and I had to excuse myself to cry in the bathroom. Jake found me there as I sobbed sitting on the closed toilet lid.\n
\u201cHey, beautiful,\u201d he said, kneeling in front of me. \u201cWant to ditch this place and get some terrible diner food?\u201d\n
I laughed through my tears. \u201cEveryone will know why we\u2019re leaving.\u201d\n
\u201cLet them know,\u201d he shrugged. \u201cTheir opinions don\u2019t pay our bills or make our happiness. We\u2019re perfect just as we are.\u201d\n
That\u2019s Jake. He always knew how to lift me when the world felt too heavy.\n
While society kept trying to make me feel like less of a woman for not being a mother, he made me feel whole. Complete.\n
Now, let me share a bit about the better part of my life. The part that excites me.\n
I\u2019ve been climbing the corporate ladder since I started my career. Currently, I\u2019m a manager at a large firm, overseeing a team of fifteen people.\n
We landed three major clients last quarter, and I couldn\u2019t be prouder of what we\u2019ve achieved.\n
Meanwhile, Jake works as an accountant at a smaller firm. He makes less than I do, but it\u2019s never been an issue between us.\n
He gets excited about the smallest wins at his job, like implementing a new filing system or helping a junior colleague understand a complex spreadsheet.\n
\u201cGuess what?\u201d he\u2019d bounce into the kitchen after work. \u201cRemember that reconciliation issue that was driving everyone crazy? I figured it out!\u201d\n
I\u2019d match his enthusiasm every time. \u201cThat\u2019s amazing! Tell me everything about it!\u201d\n
Some of my friends didn\u2019t understand our dynamic. They thought it was weird that I earned more, that we didn\u2019t have kids, and that we were content with our simple life.\n
Jake and I had always been on the same wavelength until last month. Until the day my world turned upside down.\n
I was in my office reviewing quarterly reports when my boss, David, called me in urgently.\n
\u201cLexi, we need you in Denver,\u201d he said while looking at his computer screen. \u201cThe account is hanging by a thread, and you\u2019re the only one who can salvage it.\u201d\n
\u201cDenver? When?\u201d\n
\u201cTomorrow morning. Should be about a week.\u201d\n
Oh, no,\n
I thought.\n
Going on the trip meant missing Jake\u2019s birthday that weekend. We\u2019d been planning a huge BBQ party for weeks, and he had already bought a new grill.\n
I felt so terrible and had no idea how to break the news to him.\n
I found him in our kitchen when I reached home that evening. He was humming while chopping vegetables.\n
\u201cSomething smells amazing,\u201d I said, trying to delay the inevitable.\n
\u201cJust trying out a new marinade for the party,\u201d he grinned. \u201cWant to taste?\u201d\n
\u201cJake, honey\u2026 I need to tell you something.\u201d\n
I think he heard something in my voice because he immediately put the knife down.\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong?\u201d he asked.\n
\u201cI have to go to Denver. Tomorrow. For a week.\u201d\n
He looked at me with eyes wide open.\n
\u201cBut\u2026\u201d he began. \u201cThe birthday BBQ\u2026\u201d\n
\u201cI know, I\u2019m so sorry. It\u2019s this huge client, and David specifically asked for me. We can celebrate when I get back! Maybe even take that road trip we\u2019ve been talking about?\u201d\n
He forced a smile, but I could see the hurt in his eyes.\n
\u201cYeah, sure,\u201d he said. \u201cWe can definitely take that road trip. It\u2019s gonna be great.\u201d\n
I watched as he picked up the knife again and continued chopping the vegetables.\n
\u201cI\u2019ll make it up to you, I promise,\u201d I said. \u201cIt\u2019s just a week. I\u2019ll be back in no time.\u201d\n
\u201cWork is important,\u201d he nodded. \u201cI get it. Work\u2019s always important.\u201d\n
I hugged him from behind, breathing in his familiar scent.\n
\u201cI love you.\u201d\n
\u201cLove you too,\u201d he murmured. \u201cJust\u2026 come back soon, okay?\u201d\n
The week in Denver was intense but successful. Through marathon negotiation sessions and late-night strategy meetings, we managed to not only save the account but expand it.\n
Everything went so great that I managed to wrap things up a day early. I was super excited to surprise Jake.\n
However, when I turned onto our street, I knew something was wrong.\n
Cars lined both sides of the road, and people dressed in black were walking toward our house. My first thought was that something had happened to Jake.\n
I parked haphazardly in our driveway and rushed toward the backyard, where I could hear murmured conversations. What I saw stopped me in my tracks.\n
Rows of chairs were set up on our lawn and flower arrangements covered every surface. As I looked around, my gaze landed on the massive portrait at the front.\n
My heart skipped a beat as I realized it was my portrait. It was a blown-up photo of me surrounded by black ribbons.\n
I was standing in my backyard, watching people attending MY funeral. I couldn\u2019t believe it.\n
As I walked into the backyard, all I could hear were gasps and murmurs. Some people even dropped their lemonades. Then, I spotted my mother in the crowd. It looked like she\u2019d seen a ghost.\n
Later, I learned Jake had told everyone he was throwing me a \u2018special welcome home surprise party.\u2019 The guests had arrived expecting balloons and cake, not a funeral setup. Most of them were wondering if Jake had lost his mind.\n
I was horrified when I saw him greeting everyone like I had actually passed away.\n
\u201cJake!\u201d I called out.\n
He spun around, and his face turned red in anger.\n
\u201cWhat are you doing here?\u201d he demanded.\n
\u201cWhat am I doing here? What are YOU doing?\u201d I snapped. \u201cJake, what is this? Why are you hosting my funeral?!\u201d\n
\u201cYour mom told me the truth!\u201d he shouted. \u201cAbout your promotion. About Denver. About how you\u2019re leaving me behind!\u201d\n
I couldn\u2019t believe my ears.\n
He was talking about the promotion offer that I hadn\u2019t told anyone about except my mother. I didn\u2019t tell him yet because I wanted to discuss it with him after returning from the trip.\n
\u201cMom told you?\u201d I turned to my mother.\n
\u201cI thought he knew, sweetie,\u201d she called out while pushing through the crowd. \u201cI came here as soon as your neighbor called me after seeing the funeral setup. I\u2019ve been trying to talk sense into Jake for the past hour, but\u2014\u201d\n
\u201cThanks for ruining everything, Mom!\u201d I cut her off.\n
Then, I turned back to Jake.\n
\u201cAnd this?\u201d I gestured at the funeral setup. \u201cThis is your response? Throwing me a funeral because you think I\u2019m leaving you?\u201d\n
\u201cYou were gonna abandon everything we built!\u201d he yelled, his voice cracking. \u201cYou were gonna leave me to settle in Denver. I know you\u2019ve always prioritized work over me, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to get rid of our relationship. After all, we don\u2019t even have kids\u2014\u201d\n
\u201cNo, you absolute idiot!\u201d I interrupted. \u201cThe company offered you a position too! I was waiting to tell you everything. I wanted us to make the decision as a team!\u201d\n
Jake looked at me with eyes wide open. He didn\u2019t know what to say.\n
Meanwhile, people started shuffling away, probably realizing this wasn\u2019t the entertainment they\u2019d signed up for.\n
\u201cThey\u2026 what?\u201d Jake\u2019s voice was barely a whisper.\n
\u201cThey offered you a senior accountant position. Better pay, better benefits. I wanted us to move together.\u201d I felt tears streaming down my face. \u201cBut this? Hosting my funeral because you assumed I\u2019d abandon you? That\u2019s not what partners do, Jake. That\u2019s not what trust looks like.\u201d\n
He reached for my hand. I stepped back.\n
\u201cI-I\u2019m sorry,\u201d he said. \u201cI just thought you\u2019d leave me because I didn\u2019t earn as much\u2026 I just\u2014\u201d\n
\u201cEnough, Jake,\u201d I cut him off. \u201cI\u2019m staying at my mom\u2019s tonight.\u201d\n
Then I looked at her.\n
\u201cThough we need to have a serious talk about boundaries.\u201d\n
As I walked past the chairs, flowers, and that ridiculous portrait, I realized this funeral wasn\u2019t just for the woman Jake thought was leaving him.\n
It was a funeral for our marriage, for the trust we\u2019d built, and for the partnership I thought we had.\n
I called my boss the following day and accepted the promotion. Then, I called a divorce lawyer and told him about my decision. I had to leave Jake.\n
Looking back now, I\u2019m grateful that fate had its own plans. All those years of unsuccessful attempts to have children turned out to be a blessing in disguise.\n
At least there weren\u2019t any kids who had to watch their father throw a funeral for their living mother just to prove a point.\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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