{"id":69811,"date":"2024-03-06T18:31:50","date_gmt":"2024-03-06T11:31:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alternatech.net\/?p=69811"},"modified":"2024-03-06T18:31:50","modified_gmt":"2024-03-06T11:31:50","slug":"dear-absent-dad-get-it-together-show-up-for-your-kids-before-its-too-late","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/dear-absent-dad-get-it-together-show-up-for-your-kids-before-its-too-late\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear Absent Dad: Get it Together &amp; Show Up for Your Kids Before It\u2019s Too Late"},"content":{"rendered":"<h4><span style='\"color:' font-size:>Anyone can make a baby. It takes courage to be a father.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>As President Obama said during a 2008 Father\u2019s Day speech, \u201cWhat makes you a man is not the ability to have a child- any fool can have a child. That doesn\u2019t make you father. It\u2019s the courage to raise a child that makes you a father.\u201d\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>I know of too many men who think that their quick contribution at the very beginning of their child\u2019s life is what makes them a dad. Now, don\u2019t get me wrong, I\u2019m not downplaying or diminishing that contribution. It\u2019s pretty darn vital to the whole continuity of our species, after all! However, that contribution merely makes you a biological parent. It takes a whole lot more than that single moment to make you a real father.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>If you want to be a real father, you need to BE THERE for your kids. That has absolutely nothing to do with living under the same roof, either. It\u2019s about being there emotionally, not physically. It\u2019s about supporting them with your whole heart and not just your checkbook. It\u2019s about being a part of their lives, even if you\u2019re living a life apart from them.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Oh, and if you\u2019re about to say, \u201cWell, I can\u2019t be there because\u2026\u201d let me stop you right there. There\u2019s no end to that sentence that justifies dropping out of your kids\u2019 lives. Nothing, nada, zip, zilch should stop you from trying to show up for them, period.\n<h4><span style='\"font-size:' color:>Stop making excuses for why you\u2019re not in your kids\u2019 lives\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>I have a lot of friends who grew up with an absent dad, and they\u2019ve heard all of the excuses in the book. \u201cI live too far away and can\u2019t afford to come to see you right now,\u201d \u201cSorry, I\u2019ve been really busy with work,\u201d and my personal favorite, \u201cI\u2019m a great dad. That\u2019s your mom talking! She poisoned you against me!\u201d\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Look, as Matt Mogotlane said in the quote above, your absence is the biggest poison of all. Yes, there are moms who trash-talk their kids\u2019 dads, and shame on them for doing it. No child should ever hear one parent say bad things about the other. But kids are perfectly capable of making up their own minds. If you make an effort to be a part of their lives, they\u2019ll be able to see through any \u2018trash talk.\u201d\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>As for the other excuses, you don\u2019t need money to be there for your kids. If you live too far away to visit regularly, let me clue you in on a little secret: we have this amazing technological advance called a telephone. Maybe you\u2019ve heard of it. You dial a number and speak into it, then the person on the other end can hear and speak back to you. Crazy, right?\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Sarcasm aside, there are so many ways to be a part of your child\u2019s life without spending a single dime. If you live far away, phone calls, video calls, even emails are all very cheap. If you live nearby, just spending time with you is enough. You don\u2019t have to buy your kids\u2019 love; they\u2019re more than willing to give it to you for free.\n<h4><span style='\"font-size:' color:>If you want your kids to remember you tomorrow, don\u2019t be an absent dad today\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>I want to end this with one of my favorite quotes on this topic, by Barbara Johnson. She said, \u201cTo be in your children\u2019s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.\u201d If you\u2019re an absent dad today, you can\u2019t expect to be in your kids\u2019 memories tomorrow, plain and simple. You have to act now, though. Start building memories with them today, this very moment.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>See, at some point, your kids will stop looking for you. They\u2019ll stop waiting around for you to be their dad. They\u2019ll seal up the hole that your absence left in their heart and move on. When that happens, it\u2019s too late.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>Oh, they may forgive you. They may make a small place for you in their lives, maybe even grow fond of you again, but they will never let you all the way in. They\u2019ll never risk having their hearts broken by you again, and they will never look at you the way they did the day before you walked away.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>So, I say again, absent dad: get your act together. Be a REAL father, before your kids let you go. Before you\u2019re left with nothing but regret. Before it\u2019s too late.\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Anyone can make a baby. It takes courage to be a father. As President Obama said during a 2008 Father\u2019s Day speech, \u201cWhat makes you a man is not the ability to have a child- any fool can have a child. That doesn\u2019t make you father. It\u2019s the courage to raise a child that makes\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":69812,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"Anyone can make a baby. It takes courage to be a father. 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