{"id":69872,"date":"2024-03-07T22:03:02","date_gmt":"2024-03-07T15:03:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alternatech.net\/?p=69872"},"modified":"2024-03-07T22:03:02","modified_gmt":"2024-03-07T15:03:02","slug":"17-parenting-rules-that-teach-us-how-to-really-love-a-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/17-parenting-rules-that-teach-us-how-to-really-love-a-child\/","title":{"rendered":"17 Parenting Rules That Teach Us How to Really Love a Child"},"content":{"rendered":"
The single most important way to love a child is to just be there for them. Show up and truly be present. Let them know that they matter. When you\u2019re with them, be with them.\n I\u2019m not saying that you have to devote every waking moment to them. Parents need space and time to themselves, too. But if you\u2019re playing on the floor with them, or watching their tennis match, or even just having a discussion with them\u2026actually focus on them.\n We\u2019re so concerned with raising unspoiled kids who can accept \u201cno\u201d for an answer that we forget it\u2019s okay to say \u201cyes.\u201d I\u2019m not saying you have to buy your kids a toy every time they ask for one. We\u2019d be bankrupt in about a day if we all did that. But if they ask for something that costs you nothing but time to give, it\u2019s okay to say \u201cSure, we can do that!\u201d\n My least favorite old-school parenting saying of all time is the one that says children should be seen and not heard. What a horrible idea! Kids are noisy in a big, beautiful and bright way. They\u2019re so full of life and zest and zeal.\n Let them be loud. Let them bang on pots and pans as they march around the house singing off-key while the dog barks madly behind them. Yeah, I know, the noise doesn\u2019t do wonders for the head, but it\u2019s definitely good for the heart & soul!\n I\u2019ve yet to find a better way to lift my kids\u2019 spirits and vanquish a bad mood than spending the afternoon at the beach or in the pool. You don\u2019t have to literally put them in water, though. If your child is in a foul little mood, don\u2019t try to reason them- or worse, punish them- out of it. Just change the scenery!\n There are so many benefits of reading out loud to your child, from helping them develop language skills to raising them to love reading. That\u2019s why we do it. However, it\u2019s not why our kids ask us to do it.\n To them, listening to you read is all about spending time with you doing something that they love. So, whether it\u2019s the 1st or millionth time you\u2019ve read Llama, Llama Red Pajama, put your whole heart into each and every syllable. It tells your kids that you put your whole heart into spending time with them.\n One day all too soon, your kids will stop believing in fairies. They\u2019ll stop thinking that the moon is made of cheese, that thunder comes from people bowling in the sky, and that toys really do come to life when you leave the room.\n The world will wash the whimsy right out of them all on its own. It doesn\u2019t need help from you to speed along the process. Let them believe for as long as they can that they can kiss elephants. Even better, that you\u2019ll be right by their side while they do.\n Kids give us the perfect excuse to let our inner \u201cweird\u201d come out and play. Don\u2019t waste this excuse. Embrace it! Dance like no one is watching. Tell \u201cdad jokes\u201d without rolling your eyes or groaning about how lame they are. Make faces at the dinner table. Sing loud and proud.\n Most important of all, laugh with your kids. Laugh until you cry, until your side splits, until you can\u2019t breathe. Make it a priority to be as silly as possible as often as possible.\n I mentioned this the other day when I was talking about gentle parenting techniques, but it\u2019s worth repeating. If you want to really love a child, remember that they ARE a child. They are not miniature adults, so don\u2019t treat them like one.\n Manage your expectations, set rational boundaries, and forgive them often for breaking them. In short, don\u2019t set them up to fail by demanding more than they can give.\n Someday all too soon, this world is going to teach your kids that life isn\u2019t made up of sunshine and rainbows, that there isn\u2019t always a silver lining on every cloud. Your job isn\u2019t to prepare them for that. No, it\u2019s really not.\n Your job is to teach them that it really can\u2019t rain all the time, and that the sky truly won\u2019t fall forever. There may not be a bright side to every dark coin, there IS a bright morning after every dark night. Most important of all, your job is to give them the tools to find the bright side where they can and the strength to wait for the bright morning when they can\u2019t.\n Look, I get it, parenting can be exhausting at times. Kids know how to push our buttons and try out patience like no one else on this earth can. But even when your very last nerve snaps right in half, keep that gleam of love in your eyes.\n See, your kids aren\u2019t just trying to drive you bonkers. As Nina Garcia of Sleeping Should Be Easy explains, they\u2019re testing the boundaries of your love. The look on your face and in your eyes will tell them everything they need to know, so make sure it\u2019s telling them that yes, you really do love them unconditionally and that nothing they do can ever drive you away.\n Want to make memories that your kids will treasure always? Jump in the car in your footie jammies and go to a drive-in theater. Declare a random Wednesday a mental health day and go to the beach. Stomp in mud puddles together. Ask them what type of adventure they\u2019d like to have today. Basically, just do something totally unexpected.\n Feelings are SO very big when you’re SO very little. It\u2019s our job as parents to make sure our children have a safe space to explore them. Teach them early on that it\u2019s just as okay to cry as it is to laugh. That it\u2019s okay to be mad when things don\u2019t go their way, even if they\u2019re mad at you. They don\u2019t have to like everyone all of the time to love them all of the time.\n Teach them that others have feelings, too. While it\u2019s okay for them to be mad at you for not buying them a toy, it\u2019s not okay to hurt your feelings by screaming \u201cI hate you!\u201d That while it\u2019s okay to laugh with someone, it\u2019s not okay to laugh at them. That kindness compassion and empathy matter. That everyone\u2019s feelings matter equally.\n Childhood is when we learn how to dream and imagine. What it means to love and be loved. Where we find our footing and learn to walk our own path. How to fall down and get back up. Where to find courage within ourselves and joy in unexpected places.\n It\u2019s a time when we believe that anything is possible because it still is. A time when we\u2019re not thinking about the future and instead just living in the moment. It\u2019s where we discover what it means to be a human being. Never, ever, ever for a moment underestimate its importance.\n Let your kids know that they can do anything they set their mind to. Listen to their big ideas and support them, even if it involves building a rocket ship to go to Neptune. Help them become dreamers. Better yet, be a dreamer yourself. Don\u2019t just plan to build a rocket ship, do it! Even if it\u2019s just a cardboard ship that takes them to an imaginary Neptune.\n Yelling at your kids accomplishes nothing other than scaring them. Learn a better way to communicate. No further explanation is needed.\n The most important way to really love a child is to just do it, and to make sure they know you do. Show them that you love them with all of your heart and soul. Until you feel like you\u2019ll burst with it. Even when you\u2019re mad at them. ESPECIALLY when you\u2019re mad at them.\n Tell them that you love them to the moon and back, to infinity and beyond, and more than all of the stars in the sky. Tell them every single day in a million different ways. Tell them every morning when they wake up and every night before they go to sleep. Make sure they know it with every last fiber of their tiny little beings.\n I\u2019ve said this before, children truly are remarkable little miracles. They\u2019re entire living, breathing, thinking, and feeling beings that we literally created and grew from a single cell. They are of us yet separate from us. They\u2019re the one miracle that we can all believe in, no matter what else we believe. Never forget that.\n I\u2019ll leave you with one last really wonderful quote, by Glennon Doyle Melton, \u201cDon\u2019t let yourself become so concerned with raising a good kid that you forget you already have one.\u201d Also, don\u2019t spend so much time worrying about how to raise kids who grow up to change the world that you forget that they already are changing your world.\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" 1. Be there. The single most important way to love a child is to just be there for them. Show up and truly be present. Let them know that they matter. When you\u2019re with them, be with them. I\u2019m not saying that you have to devote every waking moment to them. Parents need space and\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":69873,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"The single most important way to love a child is to just be there for them. Show up and truly be present. Let them know that they matter...","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[642],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-69872","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-moral-story"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/Listen-earnestly-to-anything.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/69872","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=69872"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/69872\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/69873"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=69872"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=69872"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=69872"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}2. Say YES as often as you can.\n
3. Let them bang on pots and pans.\n
4. If they\u2019re crabby, put them in water.\n
5. Read books out loud with joy.\n
6. Go find elephants and kiss them.\n
7. Encourage silly. Giggle a lot.\n
8. Remember how really small they are.\n
9. Search out the positive.\n
10. Keep the gleam in your eye.\n
11. Go see a movie in your pajamas.\n
12. Teach feelings.\n
13. Realize how important it is to be a child.\n
14. Plan to build a rocket ship.\n
15. Stop yelling.\n
16. Express your love. A lot.\n
17. Remember, children are miraculous.\n