\nIn some situations, your body language can be even more important than your words. When your body language is out of alignment with what you\u2019re saying, it sends mixed messages about your genuine feeling. To help you avoid these kinds of misunderstandings, we asked experts to share the most common body language mistakes they see and how to fix them. Making these simple tweaks can go a long way toward changing how people perceive you and how you feel about your interactions at work and in social settings.\n
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Standing with rounded shoulders, contracting your chest, and keeping your elbows tucked in close to your side maybe your effort to look smaller or less intimidating, or it may just be poor posture. However, this stance makes you look weak and vulnerable, Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D. body language expert says. How can you fix this? Don\u2019t be afraid to take up space! \u201cKeeping your posture erect, your shoulders back, and your head held high makes you look confident and powerful,\u201d she explains.\n
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No one expects you to stand like a statue, but if you\u2019re constantly shifting your weight or dancing around, it makes you appear as if you\u2019re anxious to leave, says Cassandra LeClair, Ph.D., professor of communication studies at Texas State University. The first step to fixing this problem is to realize you\u2019re doing it in the first place since it can sometimes happen unconsciously. When you find yourself engaging in this shifty behavior, LeClair advises taking a moment to center yourself and be more present in all of your interactions. If you are doing it to relieve some physical discomfort, either adjust your position (say, take a seat) or explain to the other person what\u2019s happening, she adds.\n
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Casting your eyes up and to the left when you are recalling a story or an event is a common body language \u201ctell\u201d that you might be lying, making you look suspicious or dishonest, says body language and relationship expert Nicole Moore. However, sometimes people unintentionally do this when they\u2019re actually telling the truth, especially when they may be \u201csearching\u201d their brain for a response.\n
To fix this, \u201cmake sure you look people in the eye when you\u2019re recounting a story that\u2019s truthful, and resist the temptation to roll your eyes back into your head,\u201d Moore says. \u201cAlternatively, you can take a deep breath, close your eyes as if you\u2019re gaining composure, and then tell the story. This body language indicates depth and that you\u2019re taking your time to recount the story, not that you\u2019re lying.\u201d\n
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When someone is speaking to you, resist technological temptations and give them your full and undivided attention, says Tara Ackaway, CEO and founder of Social Wise Communications. Constantly looking around the room or glancing at your phone every time it alerts (even if you don\u2019t actually read it!) communicates that you\u2019re not interested in what the other person is saying and can make them feel uncomfortable opening up to you. Rather than holding your phone in your hand, put it in a pocket or purse, where you won\u2019t be tempted to look at it.\n
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\u201cRegardless of how comfortable you may be with your arms crossed, it is almost always perceived as a closed sign of resistance,\u201d Goman says, adding that it can make you look like you are in a bad mood, nervous, or don\u2019t want to be approached. Instead, keep your arms open, your hands loose, and your movements relaxed. \u201cIt\u2019s the ultimate \u2018see, I have nothing to hide\u2019 gesture and sends silent signals of credibility and candor,\u201d she explains. Use these 9 body language tips to get what you want.\n
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Some people unconsciously speak with a higher voice. It may be because they are nervous or think it looks \u201ccute,\u201d or it may just be an old habit. However, the quality of your voice can be a deciding factor in how you are perceived, and speakers with higher-pitched voices are deemed less empathetic, less powerful, and more nervous than speakers with lower-pitched voices, Goman says.\n
So, make a conscious effort to lower your vocal pitch. \u201cOne easy technique is to put your lips together and say, \u2018Um hum, um hum, um hum.\u2019 Doing so relaxes your voice into its optimal lower pitch,\u201d Goman says. \u201cThis is especially helpful before you get on an important phone call\u2014where the sound of your voice is critical.\u201d\n
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You may be an introvert, you may be shy, or your cultural background may have taught you that extended eye contact is not appropriate. But avoiding eye contact can make you appear uneasy, unprepared, insecure, insincere, and dishonest, Goman says. This is such a reliable indicator of how someone is feeling that the eyes are generally the first thing security experts notice about you.\n
If looking people directly in the eye makes you uncomfortable, focus instead on their eye color, Goman suggests. \u201cWhenever you meet someone, look into his or her eyes long enough to notice what color they are,\u201d she says. \u201cThat will help create a strong personal connection.\u201d\n
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You may not be familiar with this term, but you\u2019ve definitely heard people use this vocal technique. Upspeak is when you end every sentence by raising the pitch of your voice, making it sound almost like a question. \u201cThere\u2019s nothing that kills credibility faster than upspeak,\u201d Goman says. \u201cIt makes it sound as if you are asking a question instead of telling someone [something] or seeking approval.\u201d\n
Instead, speak authoritatively. How, exactly, can you do that? \u201cWhen making a statement, start speaking on one note, raise the pitch slightly through the sentence, and then drop it back down at the end,\u201d Goman advises.\n
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Never smiling makes you look depressed or intimidating, but smiling too much can also be problematic. \u201cExcessive or inappropriate smiling can be confusing and undermines your credibility,\u201d Goman says. The key is knowing when to smile. Pay attention to the conversation to make sure you\u2019re smiling at appropriate times\u2014such as when you first meet someone\u2014and keeping a serious face when the conversation is serious.10. Standing in the \u201cfig leaf pose\u201d\n
Holding your hands tightly in front of your groin is often referred to as \u201cthe fig leaf pose,\u201d and while it might feel comfortable, you still want to avoid it. \u201cThis gesture almost always indicates to other people that we\u2019re afraid, closed off, or angry,\u201d Moore explains. And when you really take a closer look at how you\u2019re feeling, that may actually be what\u2019s going on. So, remind yourself before you communicate with anyone that you are safe and that you don\u2019t need to defend yourself, Moore says. Then relax and let your arms and hands hang by your sides. If you gesture with your hands, keep them open.\n
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Some people smile awkwardly to mask discomfort, but instead of making you look relaxed, this sends a mixed message to others. \u201cYour face is doing the opposite of what you actually feel, and people can sense that,\u201d Moore says. \u201cMany people learned in childhood to laugh at discomfort or make a joke when feeling bad as a way to protect themselves, but this isn\u2019t a good coping technique.\u201d\n
To remedy this mistake, you first need to be aware of what you\u2019re doing. Then you can work to become more comfortable with your discomfort and express your feelings in a more genuine and appropriate way. \u201cPractice moving your face into the way it\u2019s meant to be to properly display the emotion you\u2019re actually feeling,\u201d Moore suggests.\n
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One of the most distracting things you can do during a conversation touches your face and\/or hair. \u201cIn many cases, people do this as a nervous habit and may not even realize they are doing it,\u201d Ackaway says. \u201cHowever, it can make you look anxious, ill-prepared, disinterested in the topic of discussion, or even intimidated.\u201d So, hands-off! Resist the urge to fiddle with your hair, face, clothing, purse, or anything else. Keep your hands relaxed at your sides. If that isn\u2019t enough, keep your hands distracted by holding a drink.\n
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Interrupting or talking over others is the peak of rudeness, but some people go too far in the other direction and try to stay perfectly quiet while others are talking. However, natural listeners will make some gestures and noises to show they are paying attention, LeClair says. Nodding, smiling, leaning in, and making small verbal responses (\u201cMmm-hmm\u201d or \u201cOh, I see\u201d) all show genuine interest and enhance the connection with the person you\u2019re speaking with, she adds.\n
Everyone makes mistakes with their body language, and the goal isn\u2019t to be a perfect robot. Rather, it\u2019s to help you become aware of what and how you\u2019re communicating, LeClair says. Talking with others can clarify your intentions and clear up any misunderstandings. LeClair gives this real-life example: \u201cIf you don\u2019t want to change your posture, try explaining to your conversational partner why you stand this way. For example, my hands are always cold. I tell my students that I stand with my arms crossed a lot to keep my hands warm. I let them know this information [so they don\u2019t] assume I am frustrated or angry as we are talking.\u201d\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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