{"id":78454,"date":"2024-06-04T11:05:01","date_gmt":"2024-06-04T04:05:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/?p=78454"},"modified":"2024-06-04T11:05:01","modified_gmt":"2024-06-04T04:05:01","slug":"a-man-one-day-find-a-bear-on-his-roof","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/a-man-one-day-find-a-bear-on-his-roof\/","title":{"rendered":"A man one day find a bear on his roof"},"content":{"rendered":"

A man in Alberta wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof.\n

So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough..\n

there\u2019s an ad for \u201cAlberta Bear Removers.\u201d\n

He calls the number and the man says he\u2019ll be over in 30 minutes.\n

The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van.\n

He\u2019s got a ladder, a baseball bat, 12-gauge shotgun, and a mean heavily scarred old pit bull.\n

\u201cWhat are you going to do?\u201d the homeowner asks.\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I\u2019m going to go up there and I\u2019ll knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat.\n

When the bear falls off the roof, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go.\n

The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van.\u201c\n

He then hands the shotgun to the homeowner.\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the shotgun for?\u201d asks the homeowner.\n

\u201cIf the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog.\u201d\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A man in Alberta wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough.. there\u2019s an ad for \u201cAlberta Bear Removers.\u201d He calls the number and the man says he\u2019ll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives and gets out of his\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":78457,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[676],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-78454","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-jokes"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/A-man-one-day-find-a-bear-on-his-roof.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78454","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=78454"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78454\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/78457"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=78454"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=78454"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=78454"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}