{"id":78454,"date":"2024-06-04T11:05:01","date_gmt":"2024-06-04T04:05:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/?p=78454"},"modified":"2024-06-04T11:05:01","modified_gmt":"2024-06-04T04:05:01","slug":"a-man-one-day-find-a-bear-on-his-roof","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/a-man-one-day-find-a-bear-on-his-roof\/","title":{"rendered":"A man one day find a bear on his roof"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style='\"font-size:'>A man in Alberta wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough..\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>there\u2019s an ad for<strong> \u201cAlberta Bear Removers.\u201d\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>He calls the number and the man says he\u2019ll be over in 30 minutes.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>He\u2019s got a ladder, a baseball bat, 12-gauge shotgun, and a mean heavily scarred old pit bull.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>\u201cWhat are you going to do?\u201d the homeowner asks.\n<p><strong><span style='\"font-size:'>\u201cI\u2019m going to put this ladder up against the roof, <span style='\"font-size:'>then I\u2019m going to go up there and I\u2019ll knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat.\n<p><strong><span style='\"font-size:'>When the bear falls off the roof, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go.\n<p><strong><span style='\"font-size:'>The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van.<span style='\"font-size:'>\u201c\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'>He then hands the shotgun to the homeowner.\n<p><span style='\"font-size:'><strong>\u201cWhat\u2019s the shotgun for?\u201d asks the homeowner.\n<p><strong><span style='\"font-size:'>\u201cIf the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog.\u201d\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A man in Alberta wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough.. there\u2019s an ad for \u201cAlberta Bear Removers.\u201d He calls the number and the man says he\u2019ll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives and gets out of his\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":78457,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[676],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-78454","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-jokes"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/A-man-one-day-find-a-bear-on-his-roof.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78454","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=78454"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78454\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/78457"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=78454"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=78454"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inovatestory.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=78454"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}</p></span></strong></p></strong></span></p></span></p></span></span></strong></p></span></strong></p></span></span></strong></p></strong></span></p></span></p></span></p></span></p></strong></span></p></span></p></span></p>